Your ability to build relationships effectively with other people, to persuade and influence and to communicate with others in such a way that they help you to achieve your goals is essential to everything that happens to you.
Cooperation with others and building strong relationships with others is the key to finding personal power in your life.
The Law of Control and Your Personal Power
There is a “Law of Control” that says you feel positive about yourself to the degree to which you take control of your life. It also says that you feel negative about yourself to the degree to which you feel you are not in control of your life.
Psychologists call this “Locus of Control Theory.” They say that each person feels that their life and personal power is controlled by either internal or external factors. A person with an internal locus of control feels that he or she is in charge and is making the decisions that determine the direction of his or her life.
The person with an external locus of control, on the other hand, feels that others are in charge, and that he or she is controlled by external factors and influences about which he can do very little. They feel that their boss, their bills, their childhood experiences, or their current marriage or relationship controls their life.
Building Relationships and Getting Results Through Others
In order to be happy and to enjoy high levels of self-confidence, you have to organize your life in such a way that you feel very much in control of what happens to you. And nowhere is this more important than in your ability to get the things that you want through others.
You need the help of other people to accomplish almost anything. To accomplish anything worthwhile, you need the help of lots and lots of other people. To achieve your full potential as a human being, you need to consciously structure your entire life so that you are surrounded by harmonious, cooperative relationships. Your job is to be able to move you in the direction that you want to go.
You really have no choice but to become very good in your ability to deal effectively with others. This feeling of self-efficacy, being competent and successful with others, is essential to your feelings of self-esteem and personal power.
How to Influence People to Help You
You have a choice: You can either influence others, or you can be influenced by them.
You can learn how to influence people to your way of thinking and to helping you, or you can simply let yourself be persuaded to the ways of thinking of others and to helping them.
This is the real difference between personal power and feeling powerless. Between being an active agent and being a victim. It is the difference between being a leader or a follower. Learning how to influence others on a consistent basis makes you feel strong and effective. Every time you achieve a goal with the help and cooperation of one or more other people, you feel more competent and capable. You feel like a winner.
But each time you fail to get results through or with others, every time your efforts are frustrated, your sense self-efficacy is diminished and your self-esteem and your self-confidence go down.
The men and women with the highest levels of self-confidence are those who, through hard work and experience, have reached the point where they have become very skilled in working effectively with different kinds of people to achieve their goals. This is the key to personal power and building relationships.
My Personal Power Formula
The formula is: You x Your Relationships = Your Personal Power
In reality, everything in life revolves around building relationships. The quality and quantity of the relationships that you form and maintain will have more to do with what happens to you more than any other single factor. Your personal relationships will determine your success or failure, and how fast you achieve your goals. They will determine your level of happiness, confidence, and self esteem. Your ability to influence, persuade and earn the cooperation of others is an indispensable part of everything you achieve in your life.